So I have recently come to the conclusion even though I love photography, I hate running a business and constantly having to hold events and fight for new customers. I don’t want to have to fight for business because all that does is force me to sell myself short and that’s a waste of my valuable time. My husband wants me to join him in the workforce at genghis grill which i’d actually be ok with because it’s not totally against my views. I am still thinking about applying and just putting my “business” on hiatus. In the midst of all this internal turmoil I have not worked out this whole week!!! I feel terrible I may just go for a jog here in a few minutes just to say I did something this week. I also haven’t eaten the best and not the worst either, well that depends on if you think a diet of genghis grill and french fries is bad (I do fill my bowl with only broccoli, bamboo shoots, bean sprouts, green onions, mushrooms and lots of garlic and brown and white rice so it’s not like it’s the worst meal in the world).  We have been anticipating our trip and have been so anxious and kinda hurting for money that our dietary needs have fallen to the way side. I notice a lot of people this happens to but we will be back to normal soon, hopefully. Back to my business I have not found what I was looking for I have stuck with it but with multiple cancellations here lately i’m asking myself is it worth my time? Over the past week or so I have been crocheting more, I love it it’s soothing and therapeutic to me and i could sit and do it all day long (and I do!). This week alone I finished my spring fling pillow for a crochet challenge and I finished a diaper cover, some suspenders, a bowtie and a newsboy hat (that was all in one day) for my nephew who will grace us with his presence in JULY!!! I am so excited!!! I also made another diaper cover yesterday. My husband started asking me how I felt about crocheting and if I had any ideas for things and how long it took me etc etc and here was my answer : “I love to crochet if I could sit on my ass everyday either outside with my babies or inside watching my little pony I would sit there and crochet till either my hands fell off or I ran out of yarn.” to which he asked how much does it cost to make that suit and how much could you sell it for. “Well the newborn suit cost $2 and about 5 hours to make and i’ve seen them selling anywhere from $20-$50”. “I would though like to do all of my creations in organic cotton “. Next thing I know he’s looking up bulk yarn. I love this man he’s is all I could have dreamed and wished for and so much more, he lives his life to make me happy and make our house a home :). He’s the greatest this on 2 legs, and cooler than sliced bread! I guess you get the point he’s pretty awesome.

So here is my dilemma I was told I could choose between these things:

1. be a stay at home wife (which means cooking and cleaning)

2. be a stay at home photographer wife ( which requires no.1 and running a lucrative business)

3. Have my own crochet store

4. Work at a “conventional” job

So in the essence of I want to get the hell outta this state I am leaning more towards no.4 and no.3 with a little 2 and 1 on the side. I am just afraid if i do take on so much my weight loss will not be a priority. That above all other things scares me but on the other hand I will have something to occupy some time plus making more money and having the option to move sooner than later plus way more money to spend on yarn!!!! Oh my life is so simple haha. I am at a loss but I know today is a new day and I just have to put all my worries and cares out of my mind because we leave for COLORADO in 3 days!!!!!! If anyone has any advice on how to cope with stressors while trying to lose weight they would be muchly appreciated!

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