So i’ve been a little down on myself lately haven’t really been treating my body like I should because things have been super hectic. I know to some this sounds like an outright excuse but since my cat died i’ve had a hard time finding motivation. I did recently acquire a job and after a week in a half I quit. I have been so depressed i lost sight of what was really important my husband and my health. I realized i was treating him awful here I was he let me start my own business which had pretty expensive start up, quit my job in August 2012 to pursue it and work to support us and our furbabies. I have been neglecting him and i feel awful for it I haven’t been treating him with the love and respect he deserves. I even got so selfish and self involved that last week i thought the best option was at the end of a  gun barrel. I know now that’s not the case but it’s hard to not get caught up in the crap and caught in your head. I know part of my depression and treating him badly stems from a lot of things that i wont get into but I know now what i need to do. I let myself get sucked into the negative and im not going to do that anymore. I have taken a vow to treat him better just today I catered to him like he does to me. I have also let my diet get out of my control though I haven’t gained weight i feel like crap all the time. I am working on my diet but money’s been “tight” as in we spend it on other things instead of food which I know is bad and i’m making a conscious effort to change this. A big thing in my life that’s made it hard to get out of bed is my house though it’s small I still can’t wrap myy head around the clutter i need organization!!! I have all the ideas in my head just need to utilize it and apply it but it’s hard when you don’t wanna get out of bed. I also have been having a hard time with religion it just seems things are too hard right now. Life has gotten in the way and i’m trying to not let it get in the way anymore.

Advertisements