As I write this I have been crying. Sometimes life gets hard and hard for no reason. I hate to say this summer I have not worked out once! One because it is so damn hot here in Texas that I don’t want to don workout clothing and tennis shoes when all i want to wear is shorts, a tank top and flip flops. Along with the heat came some unexpected problems. It’s been slow going at both of our jobs so money’s been really tight which causes stress and lots of it. Our ongoing stress makes us very unwilling to do things we know we should like eat healthy. Though I haven’t gained any I am not losing and have noticed a lack in muscle tone in both of us. Though not something anyone likes to admit we have problems I suffer from depression and my wonderful husband has been overwhelmed with anxiety among other things. We have been doing research on what causes these things in us and I have come up with a routine I hope will help us in the long run. We have suspected for sometime now that my husband has a gluten intolerance but as some know gluten free foods can be rather pricey and when you are living on not enough money that’s hard to do. We have fallen into a perpetual lazy cycle buying processed food instead of cooking healthy meals. We did last week make most of our meals but it was so expensive we quickly reverted our ways. Today was the last straw! I am tired of being tired and feeling bad about myself and depressed and I am tired of seeing my awesome husband have so many undue issues. Through my research I have come across a few things that make sense to me and being against big pharm I want to try and help ourselves naturally.
The first thing I learned was since most of us don’t get the nutrients we need the lack can exacerbate symptoms of fatigue and other ailments. So I have been scouring the web for a vegan multivitamin and zinc and b12 supplements. I also learned that EMR which is electromagnetic radiation which is put off by electronic devices can be harmful in concentration among other things. This means limited TV, internet, ipad and cellphone time only music is allowed. I had been hinting to him for a while we should try meditation because of the wonderful benefits and after reading another article about it decided it shall be included in our daily routine. Last thing i will mention is the gluten free I feel it will be beneficial he has done well on one before so we are giving it another go.
Our Daily Routine Mock UP
*Wake up time around 9am
*Then before anything else we workout for more than 30 minutes
*Then we have free time to do whatever till lunch
*at least 30 minutes of meditation
*No EMR till 6p (so a good 5 hours with nothing turned on)
(We will be following a Vegan and Gluten Free diet and Organic when possible)
I will be monitoring our progress and we are trying this for one month or at least documenting the change that can happen in one month but I am also going to have him and myself keep a daily journal that we will write at the end of every night so as to rightfully document the changes made. I really hope this helps improve ourselves, our lives and everything in general. I hope through this we come to a better understanding of what we need to make an importance in our lives and what we do not. I know it’s a stretch but I hope this works for the sake of me and my husband. We are planning on starting on the first sort of a clean slate plus we already have groceries bought till then.
One of the big things I have been dealing with is my infertility (well it’s not official but if you have unprotected sex for years and don’t yield a baby there’s gotta be some factor i’m missing) I have watched 20 count it 20 people this year alone get pregnant. While I am absolutely tickled pink for them I can’t help but be saddened and it doesn’t help that a majority of the people that are pregnant are younger than I am. It makes me feel like an old spinster with cobwebs in her cooch. It is especially hard when I get the semi constant questions “when are you going to have kids?”, “wow you’re how old and you don’t have a child yet?”, “But you have been married for almost 3 years how can you not want a child” or my favorite one “don’t you know if you wait any longer you will be old parents who can’t do anything with their kids.” OK! Now I don’t like having to answer these questions because A) It’s none of your damn business and B) We know what’s right for us. With the questions above my most typical answers are “someday”, “Not everyones a baby making factory”, “I do want a child more than most people who have children want a child but until I feel like I can truly take care of myself and know what I am doing is right and have ideals that are unwavering and can be a beacon of truth, honesty and an good example for my children then I am waiting” or “We want to enjoy our time together and it’s harder for us to get pregnant” and last one “So apparently being closer to 30 makes you old yes I will prob be head of the pta because I am so much older than all of the other moms *rolls eyes* but age does not determine the amount of love and things you can do with your child”. I am tired for having to answer to people about the decisions I make! On a lighter note I tend to forget my woes about children because I already have 6 pretty bomb ass fur babies!
So i’ve been a little down on myself lately haven’t really been treating my body like I should because things have been super hectic. I know to some this sounds like an outright excuse but since my cat died i’ve had a hard time finding motivation. I did recently acquire a job and after a week in a half I quit. I have been so depressed i lost sight of what was really important my husband and my health. I realized i was treating him awful here I was he let me start my own business which had pretty expensive start up, quit my job in August 2012 to pursue it and work to support us and our furbabies. I have been neglecting him and i feel awful for it I haven’t been treating him with the love and respect he deserves. I even got so selfish and self involved that last week i thought the best option was at the end of a gun barrel. I know now that’s not the case but it’s hard to not get caught up in the crap and caught in your head. I know part of my depression and treating him badly stems from a lot of things that i wont get into but I know now what i need to do. I let myself get sucked into the negative and im not going to do that anymore. I have taken a vow to treat him better just today I catered to him like he does to me. I have also let my diet get out of my control though I haven’t gained weight i feel like crap all the time. I am working on my diet but money’s been “tight” as in we spend it on other things instead of food which I know is bad and i’m making a conscious effort to change this. A big thing in my life that’s made it hard to get out of bed is my house though it’s small I still can’t wrap myy head around the clutter i need organization!!! I have all the ideas in my head just need to utilize it and apply it but it’s hard when you don’t wanna get out of bed. I also have been having a hard time with religion it just seems things are too hard right now. Life has gotten in the way and i’m trying to not let it get in the way anymore.
Well I’ve been MIA for a while but it’s with good reason. I am still on my weight loss journey, I just haven’t been hitting it as hard as I know I should have. With that being said I got a cold brush with reality yesterday. You know when life is going great and everything is just perfect? Well I had that feeling and then all of a sudden BAM!!!! I feel like I’ve been hit by a train! A few days ago I noticed my little kitty Hendrix was breathing funny so I called up a good friend and she helped me take care of him and he seemed to be doing better. I checked his gums around day 4 which would have been yesterday and they were white which meant there was something really wrong so I did what any person would do and took him to the vet. This is where my day headed south I knew exactly what she was going to tell me when I got there that he had a plueral effusion I just didn’t know what was causing it. I opted for a Feline Leukemia test which came back positive :*(. Now a little back story on Hendrix he was born from a feral mother who may have passed the disease to him. I still remember the day my husband brought him home he was too little to be away from his momma but he was healthy and every night he slept on my chest. He was my baby I could hold him like one, he came when I called him and he even gave kisses. He was the best kid/cat a person could ever have and it’s so unfair that his loving life was cut so short. I am very thankful for wonderful friends who help me even though some don’t understand my attachment to an animal. I miss him very very much I even accidentally called his name earlier looking for him and looked up to realize he wasn’t there and burst into tears. I feel like me life lost a little piece joy when he died. It hurts me even more to watch his big brother/ partner in crime so sad he just walks around looking in, under and around things meowing and sitting in his old spots. It is breaking my heart to watch. One major issue though is our big cat gabriel could contract the disease also so we have to get him tested. I am afraid though he is giving it to our cats because his sister had it and died, a cat we got 2 years ago from the humane society contracted it and died (but he died from liver failure) and now kitty I hope he’s not a carrier or the problem and that he’s healthy I can’t take much more heart ache. I’m not sure at this moment in time I could ever own another cat no one will ever compare to my baby he was loved he’s still loved and missed very much.
Here’s a picture of my sweet boy RIP HENDRIX you will be missed!
Now onto weightloss ooooooohhhhhhh! I have a 5k coming up on June 8th and I haven’t ran since THOR AAAHHH!!! So if it’s not raining tomorrow and I can get the strength to get out of bed I will go running. I have to say it’s really hard to want to workout or eat well when you are depressed but sometimes you just have to make the best of things. I have put my photography business on hold sort of it seems now I have more business how crazy. I’m also in the process of getting all my things in order to launch my website where you can buy all kinds of handmade/handcrafted wonderfulness including things for everyone like clothing, home decor, toiletries, vegan products and possibly even some yummy vegan gluten free items so be on the lookout for my launch pos hopefully before the summer is over 🙂 (which is never in texas). On that note I am off to spend the rest of the day finishing picture editing and mother’s day crochet projects!
- Soul Ache (willhumes.net)
- An Incurable Ache (soulinspirationforever.wordpress.com)
- Cat Health Problems and Solutions (cat-diseases.dogs-and-cats-at-home.com)
- Extra Love Needed: Meet Hector (peacelovenwhiskers.com)
- Carrie’s Little Family (cat-a-tonic2013.com)
- Cat-a-Tonic (cat-a-tonic2013.com)
Well i’m gearing up to run my first real run tomorrow it’s the Texoma Hellacious Obstacle Run or THOR for short. I am so nervous so much it’s caused me lots of problems this week. I started my monthly *bleh*, I didn’t workout as much as i should have, I didn’t eat like I should have, I haven’t’ slept like I should have and I have been letting my stress take over. I do now have quite a few people cheering me on and I hope I can finish but i’m terrified i won’t be able to finish the race :(. I did go out today and for the first time in 10+ years I jogged a mile it took me 16 minutes but I jogged a mile without stopping! I am proud of myself even if this time sucks all I can do is get better. I have had a bad week of self doubt and i’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up a steady running pace without my music haha. I’m really starting to enjoy running, it’s such a stress reliever! Though the presence of this big race looms over my head like a cloud. I think I can finish it I’m almost positive someone from a later heat will lap me and that will be slightly depressing but then again how am i to know that what will happen? I am very proud to have my wonderful husband running with me tomorrow. I can’t stress how nervous I am I get really anxious before anything that seems important like my first days of the school year, before an extracurricular activity, the night before I start a new job or do something i’m excited about, before I go on a big trip and obviously my first race.
I plan on finishing in under an hour hopefully, fingers crossed but if I don’t then I just hope to complete it. I am working on mine and my husbands shirts right now for tomorrow. We will be repping it for VEGANS everywhere. I hope to one day look back on this and be like psh I don’t know what I was so nervous about I got this! I will be posting pictures of tomorrow and my thoughts on how everything turned out hopefully tomorrow evening (if i’m not dead)! To morrow is gonna be THORTASTIC!!!! To check out what this race is about please check out www.wfthor.com or head over to their facebook at facebook.com/wfthor.
I am super super super excited! My Wonderful husband is taking me to Colorado for my birthday! Well we leave in 15 days!!!! I have been hesitant on figuring out where we were to stay and what we were to do because of the weather and our lack of funds.
I have finally found a free campsite!! So a free campsite that we can have a fire at where we can cook (if we aren’t still juicing). We have also been talking about going to the cave of the winds and doing a lantern tour and riding their bat zip line thing and possibly doing the wind walker course. We are going to go to the Garden of the Gods and are planning on visiting an animal sanctuary for rescued farm animals. I hope while we are there I get to enjoy some good Vegan cuisine! Ok so nix the free campsite apparently in all my joy I forgot that this campsite was in the middle of nowhere (cue the dueling banjos). So after so careful deliberation and number crunching we will be staying at a paid campsite. We will also be looking for potential places to live! I am nervous about going it’s a long trip i’ll be away from my babies for almost a whole week :(.
I am so excited about this journey to a new place! I hope to find some yummy veganess and some cool stuff along the way I know our days will be filled with nature which I love and fun at night!
Well I survived yesterday got 3 workouts under my belt but only drank 1 juice. I broke down and ate an apple and orange last night. I didn’t sleep well so I think a nap is in my near future. Other than being tired and cold (what’s up with this weather?) I feel pretty good. Im just slightly groggy, I have some energy, I have a slight headache and a weird taste in my mouth. I made a new juice today thinking it would be better, well i’m just not so sure. Todays juice only has watermelon and tomato. I think the tomato is what’s throwing me off to be honest it like my husband says “tastes like watermelon and feet” haha. I told him last night though I was over juicing yesterday I will still attempt to do it till the end of day 4 and if I see no results and still hate the taste then i’ll give it till day 5 and i’ll quit. Hopefully it won’t come to that and i’ll find a juice I enjoy! I did get a little hungry last night around midnight waiting on my husband to get home but I ate an orange :/.
Everyone else who has been doing this fast are doing great no real complaints about what they are drinking. I have a very sensitive palate now and can taste everything and some of the flavors are a little too strong. I think for lunch I will try a juice with more fruit in it to ease myself into all of this.
I have struggled in my life to find what I would like to occupy my time doing. I find i’m always unhappy in my career fields even now my photography seems more like a hobby than a lucrative business. As I start to focus on my health I start to delve into nutrition specifically Holistic Nutrition. It’s something that fascinates me that we all don’t know this information. I’m currently trying to save well one for our trip to Colorado in 2 weeks and also so I can become certified as a natural health and holistic nutrition practitioner. I would then like to go on and earn my Masters in Holistic natural health and nutrition and maybe one day my doctorate. I want to help people I know how I have struggled with, and still do, food addictions, emotional eating, binge eating, stress eating and many other disorders and I want to give others a fighting chance like I feel I have. My husband is also leaning in a career path similar to this.
This juice fast and my constant facebook ramblings and postings has me thinking. Why do people defend these things even if they can see the evil and greed in industries such as the dairy, veal, slaughterhouse, vaccines, monsanto and the medical industry? It makes absolutely no sense to me Doctors don’t have to take as many nutrition classes as a vet does. When was the last time your doctor asked you what and how much you were consuming? they probably didn’t because the fda regulates the food which helps regulate the pharmaceuticals so if they feed you crap with toxins you’ll get sick, and when you get sick guess who you have to turn to to help you “get better”. Pharmaceuticals. It’s sick really how are food we eat, the air we breathe and the water we drink all causes problems that one industry controls both sides of. If you think i’m stupid or crazy that’s fine. But I urge you if you see what i’m saying to evaluate what you are consuming. We live in the supposed best place on earth with the most freedom and we use that freedom to be filthy, fat, glutinous, lazy, needy, whiny, dependant shells who have no respect and no concern for what we are doing to ourselves or the environment. It’s so terrible that I implore you to write down what you’re eating and then go research those foods I guarantee what you find will be shocking and will change your life!! It changed mine. There are things in your food that if you know would chill your blood it’s disgusting.
It’s time we start educating the masses about the severe issue of poor nutritional choices. In america where we have the right to eat what we want then why not eat something that makes your body, heart and mind feel good? Why not consume to live not live to consume? Why not choose to have a longer healthier life? Is our nation really so far gone with plastic and “magic pills” that it can’t be saved? I sure hope not I want my children to be comfortable in the world they live not afraid that they may be denied a good source of organic food all because some big wigs *cough* *cough* Monsanto wants freaking strawberries to be able to grow in colder climates so they “modify” its dna with an arctic fish. It’s so awful and people just turn a blind eye. I am more surprised by the amount of people who don’t care when I tell them what stuff is made from, like the clearish coating on skittles is actually made out of the reproductive glands or excretions from a female bug!!! Gross oh my gracious that would be a total deal breaker! OK! Well enough ranting for one night the whole point of this post is to state I will be going to school in the nearish future so yay!