My journey from a 353 pound food addict to a slim and fit health nut ;)

Category Archives: vegan

So as some of you know my husband and I decided to take a trip to Colorado! Well I must say it was so much fun! We had my birthday celebration with the in laws then we headed on our way to stay in clayton new mexico for the night. We ended up staying the night in our car because we really didn’t want to pay $70 to stay in a room for 5 hours. We woke up to snow and ice on the ground, which was beautiful but also kinda sucked. I personally think the city of new mexico freaked out because they closed the main roads!!




heres us on the road the next morning !


my silly husband all bundled up!!

So since we couldn’t take the main road I mapped a course that took us probably 1-2 hours more but it was beautiful!


Here’s what the road I chose to take turned into all rock and dirt but we were able to go faster than we would have on the main icy roads.IMG_7658

The view from outside my husbands window while I was driving look at the snow! We enjoyed that road and saw a sign for Folsom which of course made us sing the song!



They have open cattle roaming there so this was our view someone didn’t want to get out of the road so i got out of the car and took pictures they were so pretty!


pretty animals all over in colorado I love this bird in the snow!


We finally arrive in COLORADO! It was not as cold as it looks in these pictures it was so nice I can’t wait to live there!IMG_7710MOUNTAINS!!!


Ok so at this point we left Wednesday evening slept in clayton and on Thursday afternoon we made it to Colorado we stopped in Trinidad to call our families from a payphone, because we hadn’t had service for 10+ hours! We go along what I call treacherous roads mainly because they were slightly icy and it was snowing and we were driving on the sides of mountains with no guard rails. I’m a slightly nervous driver and when the speed limit is 35 and you’re going 55 you can’t get mad at me for going 25 haha. We finally arrived in Cripple Creek Colorado my nerves were shot at this point. We opted to not camp out that night because of the snow and the fact we were going to gamble till the wee hours of the morning and didn’t want to have to set up a tent in the dark. We rented a room at J.P. Mcgills the room was nice for what it was and they gave us coupons for free meals. When we got settled we did what any normal person would do and we checked our bank account only to find a strange $35 charge. Kenny calls the company, remember the phone call we made in Trinidad well the machine didn’t accept coins and we had to pay using our credit card, and gripes them out because it’s a $12 connection fee and like $7 a minute? Crazy shit. So after we dealt with that we went to go play.  We started out with $100 a piece I played for a while but these slots are nothing like the indian owned casinos so I wasn’t quite sure if my strategies would work. Kenny on the other hand played the tables. We left that group of casinos and went across the street where I played on $20 for at least and hour or two. I finally lost it all and went to go find kenny of course expecting the worst. I sit at his table and he pulls chips out of his pocket he had won $500!!! His streak of luck made it to where our whole trip at that point hadn’t cost us a dime! The next morning we awoke and got ready to got to Denver but before we left we played one more slot and won $100 more! The trip on the scary roads the next day actually weren’t bad at all.

We finally get to Denver and our first order of business is finding food since this whole trip the only vegan friendly options we had were french fries and bread we bought at the supermarket. We had researched this Vegan food truck called the vegan van and were excited to taste their food! Kenny pulls up our navigation and we find a place to park but don’t see the van so we take of walking. After 4 blocks we start to get this feeling we are way off and 14 blocks later we were right! We did find the van it was parked in front of a place called Nooch which is an ALL VEGAN MARKET!!! It was also by the Hoodlab which sells organic cotton clothing! Kenny had a Tofuffalo and coleslaw sandwich which was yum and I had a “meatball” sub which was super yum! We then went and explored the festival hoodlab was having. After we finished there we checked into our hotel which was really nice and went for a dip in the hot tub and to sit in the sauna. The festival at hoodlab was so much fun there was a vendor there who I fell in love with they sell vegan hemp ice cream sandwiches!!! We immediately passed out when we got back to the room. The next morning we packed our stuff and headed to a huge convention they had at the EXDO event center. It was so much fun lots of walking and I may have gotten a sunburn but it was awesome! We went to eat that night at Eden which I think is a lesbian bar mainly because of the abundance of lesbians and the fact they had one of those neon rainbow pride signs haha. They serve a menu that has Vegetarian, Vegan and even Paleo options it was pretty good but i’m almost positive our waitress was new…..or stoned :). We were so tired we opted yet again for a hotel this time we made it a cheapie in Aurora. The next morning we decided to drive to Colorado Springs we went and ate at Chipolte and I fell in love with a little family there I just wanted to hug them they had a boy a girl and and adopted little boy. I noticed the dad telling the youngest he couldn’t get the pinto beans because they had pork in them, so I kinda examined what they were eating and they were all eating vegan ! It was the cutest thing i’ve ever seem a cute little vegan family it made me so hopeful about the future for us in colorado! We then went and visited the Garden of the Gods.


here I am trying to get back to kenny before the timer quits I almost made it the second time.



Some nice man saw my struggles and took the photo for us!

The next pictures were taken at the garden of the gods



Kenny being silly climbing rocks


even though it said not to we still decided to roam off the beaten path to sit and enjoy time and nature

IMG_7783 and also to take pictures of moss!

IMG_7790 and this rock in this tree

IMG_7795 I had to get my rock picture too!


One of the cool things at GOTG the camels kiss!


Haha there were a lot of trees and kenny said it looked like the forest from Harry Potter so he’d wanted to pretend like he was going into the forbidden forest!


Me taking some selfies while ken fills the car with gas!


Pikes peak or bust

We finally arrive at our campsite which was at the Cheyenne mountain state park! Getting ready to eat some grub !


Look at that fire


Kenny getting ready to cook


This is probably my favorite picture of myself ever I love the simplicity i love my poncho I love life in this picture


Camping is fun

 IMG_7930  mmmm corn

IMG_7934he’s such a good cook !

IMG_7936mmmm kabobs

IMG_7939look at those yummy veggies

IMG_7941sexy man

IMG_7943best meal we had the whole time!!

We sat by the fire all night talking about the future and our lives together before finally hitting the hay we awoke the next morning to wildlife by our site!

 IMG_7964Pretty little guys huh and there were like 20 of them!

We were going to stay monday but I missed my furbabies so we cut our trip short and headed back home! Kenny took pictures out the window while I drove and had to get our final shot leaving clayton new mexico of the dragon.

 IMG_8038IMG_8040the dragon waves bye!

We’ve been home over a week now and gosh do we miss it. With all the upheaval in our lives lately we are ready to move so weve taken baby steps towards a simplistic and sustainable life. He even told me today I could start looking at land in CO! One of these days we will live there but for now I can only dream!


I like to be open about the ups and downs of this journey and it goes hand in hand with my emotions and fears. I figured out I hate doing photography :(. Ok I don’t hate it i’m just being melodramatic but still I started my business for people to have a person who understood there’s more to life than money. Well there in lies my dilemma everyone and I mean everyone with a camera nowadays is a photographer and I know some are going to say that’s where you started and let me clarify no it’s not I’ve been doing photography since 2004 when I just used b&w film.  I have done extensive research and know my camera forwards and backwards and know my cs5 and other programs I use. I’m not talking about the ones like me who try hard to deliver professional results i am talking about those who post a picture straight out of their camera and people tell them you are so amazing and next thing you know they are broadcasting un edited poorly lit photographs on a “business page” on facebook and though I do acquire a great deal of my business on Facebook I am starting to notice since Christmas there have been 50 photography business pages alone in my area that have popped up causing my business to suffer. I probably don’t do enough to get my name out there and because my prices are cheaper I get taken advantage of many times. I have long thought of just throwing in the towel and saying eff this and just sit on my lazy ass at home. I do have a few shoots coming up in april one on the 13th which is fun it’s a baby shower I have shoots a few days after I get back from my trip a Boudoir day and a few shoots in May, June, July and a wedding in October (which i am super excited about). I should just start doing specialty shoots but everyone in this town shoots everything bleh. Well anyway I am struggling with this I have these lined up and am not sure I will line anything else up I don’t feel it brings me joy anymore :(.

What I would really like to do is dive right into my activism and promoting Veganism. Still new to all of it but very much interested. I am not sure trying to “convert” my family is working but I know a few people who do take my advice to heart and have even told me they opted for a salad rather than a burger :). I am so torn I have so many “hobbies” and no real job or purpose. I wish we had enough money to move right now and I think life would get a little better but alas that day is just a glimmer of hope in my eye. I feel beaten down this week though I know I accomplished something big for me on Saturday I still can’t help but feel my life is stale. If it wasn’t so cold i’d go for a jog but I have no cold weather clothing. I told my husband last night I’m ready to get off this rock and explore somewhere new where the common morals and decency don’t matter, where I can run free and wild, I can plant and thrive in my garden, I can lay out in the sun and soak up the worlds awesomeness. I don’t even care if we live in a “real” house i’d rather build it out of clay with no electricity except for the ones generated by wind or solar power. I want to be surrounded by animals that need and deserve love and a better hand than life has dealt them, I want to wake up everyday and know I am making a difference in someone else’s life. I want to have a ton of kids they don’t even have to be mine I will adopt them and love them as my own. I want to teach them about good values and how to be kind and respect the earth and all it’s inhabitants. I want mini activists to stand up to their peers, family members and nay sayers when they try at the age of 8 to feed my child mcdonalds and they will be able to tell them no that they’d rather life a happy healthy life instead of killing myself with the food I eat. I want to just embrace all being VEGAN has to offer and just run away with it and if I have to fly away to another country with it. I want adventure and fun and never ending laughter. I just want to live  not work to live but actually enjoy life.

Now that doesn’t sound like too much to ask right? Well I see my dreams fading in the distance and am not sure i’ll ever reach my goals but hey a girl can dream right?

I have these bouts of depression and what seems like loneliness, but I know it’s really just me excluding myself. Why even with some new found confidence do I still shy away from public events? I have finally got over my fear of working out in front of people because (excuse my language) but eff you if you are going to judge me for making my life better. I still find myself a little uncomfortable around people who are skinny or what I perceive to be slim. If there’s more than two slender people and i’m the third I feel like i’m just some big old fatty sitting in the corner who never has as much fun as everyone else. I know that’s not the case but I always feel as if my weight makes others around me as uncomfortable as I am. One of these days I won’t feel like this and this will all be but a bad dream, but till then it’s a very real panicky nightmare. I have struggled socially my whole life (though most wouldn’t know it) i’ve never felt like i’ve belonged anywhere which i’m sure quite a few others struggle with this as well. Last time I went to a psychologist because of my depression and avoidance issues, which was 2 years ago, I told her why I do it. I told her I am depressed because I feel my weight holds me back from reaching my true potential. I avoid everything even leaving my house most days because I don’t want to be uncomfortable. I refuse to do things with my husband for fear of people staring and wondering why is he with her? It takes me giving myself a pep talk every morning just to get out of bed most days. She then proceeds to ask me how I feel I need to remedy this, and I didn’t have to be specific but I was. I told her the following : ” I know what i’m eating is wrong, I know how I act is wrong, I know that if i got off my fat lazy butt I could make a change in my life, I know my weight stems from emotional issues mainly with how I was treated while in school and some minor family issues, I know i’m an emotional closet eater who will go out to eat then gorge myself while crying later which is destructive behavior, I know i’m hobbling down a very dangerous road and don’t believe I have more than 5 years left with the rate that i am going and I know exactly how to fix all of these things but for some reason it never works quite as planned”. Well she was shocked because most people tell her I don’t know the problem was I knew and still chose to be dumb. I have since changed all of that I do believe when you live a reassuring and fulfilling life eating what you are meant to and not what society wants you to eat things will fall into place. January this year I decided to go not only vegetarian (for the 3rd time) but full on Vegan! I will never look back it all started because I was done feeling like crap because of the food I ate tired of not having energy and it’s slowly progressed into the Vegan blaring, factory farm bubble busting person I am. Though I still can’t shake this feeling of failure though i’ve come so far already. I can’t help but still feel that lingering uneasy feeling when one of my “thin” friends invites me to do something. I wish and pray with everythign that I didn’t dwell on this and that I could just get over it and go have fun but I simply can’t. Maybe one of these days I will have a social life I know I can’t wait till my goal weight to do that and I am trying to step out of my comfort zone, mainly with my husband. This is a hard psychological thing I have to get past and hopefully by the time summer rolls around and it’s time for swimming and sunbathing I will have higher self worth and will take the plunge and actually hang out with my friends. Until then I guess it’s back to the workouts and hiding in my house. Sorry if this is a tad depressing but this journey is just as much emotional as it is physical and mental and if you don’t get how you feel out in the open it will eat at you like a black plague, and lets face it nobody likes plagues :).

To me a Vegan is someone who helps to give a voice to beings that cannot directly communicate our language. What should I expect people are killing others because of their religion, heritage, skin color, hair color and economic status. Should I expect more out of a country or world who has lost it’s grip on humanity? I say it’s time to educate people i’m almost positive you don’t pay attention to what goes into your mouth. My husband works at a restaurant and the other night I went up there and drank water and ate chips and salsa till he got off. What I saw around me was repulsive! A family of four was seated in front of me at a booth, an larger male, a larger female, a younger chubby female and a chubby child. I watched them all order sodas and 2 appetizers, 4 entrees, alcohol and a dessert here’s a rundown of what they consumed:

16 chicken wings (2 blue cheese dipping sauces and 2 ranch sauces)

a large bowl of spinach and artichoke dip and salsa (had to have a refill of chips)

A 12oz steak with shrimp opted out of veggies for a loaded potato

a giant hamburger with bacon and cheese and mayo and extra fries

a chicken plate with chicken cheese bacon and shrimp no veggies but french fries

and the child got mac and cheese and a hamburger

they consumed 12 sodas between them and one had 2 alcoholic drinks

they topped the night off with a giant brownie smothered in chocolate and ice cream

As I looked around me this was the typical scenario it made me want to vomit and I respect my husband so much for working around that everyday to keep veggies on our plate! if you look at that that means at least 8 chickens had to die, about 2 or more pounds of cow, 10 shrimp had to die, a cute little piggy had to be murdered for their bacon bits, not to mention the poor momma cow who was forcibly impregnated and her baby ripped from her and killed for veal just so you’d have something to dip your dead chicken in and all the butter and who knows what else. To think this is a typical American meal at a restaurant so many poor lives lost for a meal for one family.

I became a Vegan for the animals. The weightloss and great feeling I have is just a perk!! Poll time!

Don't Switch Off The Light


A Vegan in Progress

My experience transitioning to a vegan lifestyle.

The Long Road to Health

My journey from a 353 pound food addict to a slim and fit health nut ;)

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